What is Bargaining in Grief, and How Can I Manage it?

BARGAINING might look like pleading with self or others for things to be different than how they are, ruminating on “what ifs”, believing things “should” be different than how they are, making resolutions, a sense of “grasping” in the body.

How to be with it: Let the questions come. Sit with them, even if they have no answers. Bargaining is not weakness; it’s the heart’s way of grappling with the unthinkable. Honor the longing, but don’t let it trap you in a past you can’t change.

Tangible, Creative Actions:

Create a What-If Jar

Write down all your “what if” and “if only” thoughts on slips of paper and place them in a jar. When you’re ready, you can read them, burn them, bury them, or release them.

Write a Dialogue

Imagine a conversation with the person you’ve lost, with the universe, or with yourself. Let it never a space to explore your regrets and wishes without judgment.

Build a Bridge

Use sticks, stones, or legos to physically build a small bridge. Let it symbolize your desire to connect the past with the present.