Denial can look like: feeling stuck, an inability to say what happened, pretending as if nothing happened, not changing anything in your life to accommodate the loss, refusing to talk about the person or what happened, physical feeling of being small or hidden.

Please know that the stages of grief are not linear, and are not exclusive.  By this I mean that you probably will experience each stage of grief, but you won’t experience them in order, you won’t experience them once, you will never “complete” them, and you will also experience a lot of other emotions. 

Take a deep breath.  Know that it’s ok to dread upcoming days. And there is no right or wrong way to celebrate, or even acknowledge, significant dates. I have found that for many people I have worked with, the anticipation of the day is actually worse than the day itself, although for you that might be different. You are allowed to say no to anything that doesn’t feel right to you.